9.21.2009

should i stay or should i go...

my insides feel funny. it's silly, but it's the only way to describe it. I just feel weird. like my body is attacking it'self from the inside out. I slept for a while tonight 8:30p - 3a, not bad. Now i'm up obsessing about whether or not to go on this work trip. I still need to pack for the 3 days in Schenectady.....be ready by 9a. for the ferry ride and 3 hour drive.

I've worked for months organizing/coordinating this conference for NYS ARTS . Over 230 attendees, 45 speakers, entertainment, catered meals, dinners, board meetings etc... A big 2 day event and I'm proud of the job I've done to make it all happen. Especially over the past few months while feeling like one hand tied behind my back and half a brain.

This last hit of chemo has been the worst, still feeling nauseous and ill. Haven't hit the just uncomfortable woozy feeling. My body needs to be turned inside out and hosed down, then put back together again.

what to do... what to do.





3 comments:

Kim said...

I vote for going ... and telling yourself that if you start to feel really crappy, it is perfectly fine to turn right around, go home, and go back to bed.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jen, You are amazing. Kudos on your hard work!!! I hope the conference goes really well. XO!

Anonymous said...

Jen- I love your blog and admire your courage and humor. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Lots of love, Esther

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