R-CHOP
Sloan Kettering Memorial Cancer Center
It was a long long day.
Ali and I decided to take a perfectly uneventful yet cold 6:30AM jitney ride into the city. No traffic, no weird car annoyances just a bus.
I woke up at 6:02am
Ali & Kenny were at my house at 6:07am
I was dressed, showered and out the door by 6:12am
I got us bagels and were at the bus stop at 6:29am ..the bus was there. We were on time all was good.
We arrived at our stop 67th/3rd at 8:30am ..to what I thought was too early we walked to a diner, I pee'd after drinking tons of water. I sat down looked at my appointment book and realized I was supposed to be at the Oncologist office at 8:15am.
"we gotta go.." We picked up rushed and walked the 3 blocks where I neurotically showed up over an hour late.
I gave blood.. pee'd in a cup. Met with the Oncologist who kindly, told me everything he thought I needed to know. I asked some questions.. innocent questions that from my research seemed intelligent and thoughtful. Questions that I wanted answers to...
"what are my CD10 and CD20 nodules"? "Where are they? What do they mean"?
what's my risk..low or intermediate?
What vitamins should or shouldn't I take... "NO VITAMIN C" was the only response...all the questions got a resounding snide answer-less answer with an attitude and fully enunciated "what you need to know is that I'm taking very good care of you"
It seems my research and questions will have to wait. I cried sitting there feeling stupid and belittled..but didn't blubber just felt small and insignificant and completely out of control of every little thing that was happening to me, my body and potentially my future. While Alison and my mom looked on. My mom wanting me to be thankful and patient and kind. Alison ...I'm not sure. She probably didn't want me making an ass of myself..and getting bitchy.
I didn't, I tried to make him laugh.. he looked at me warmly and sat me on the table to check my glands. He poked. He looked me dead in the eyes and said he'll make me better..I whispered "you promise" He just looked at me.
Next we saw Nurse Nancy..who I had the pleasure of speaking with the night before the port surgery. She was sweet and kind and mellow. Explained to me what all my R-CHOP drugs are..what nausea medications I'd be taking after plus the 5 day prednisone schedule et al. She answered questions, gave us information and we were on our way down the loooong hall to start my treatment.
I stumbled and cried walking down the hall of doom. To begin this new journey. What I had no idea about was that it would be a 1 1/2- 2 hour wait.. The treatment area is busy. Packed with people waiting for there chemo. I have no idea how long we waited in the semi cold drab but not awful waiting room? 45mins, an hour two hours ..no clue. I was petrified.
We were all escorted with our bags.. Mom and I didn't know if we'd stay in the city or not so we were wheeling around luggage. Who knew how I'd react after treatment.
Me with my big pink wheeler luggage. Just in case I had an adverse reaction and had to stay near the hospital..we were going to stay at Sharon's while they were all on Fire Island.
We were brought into a shared 4 stall room. With one very loud tv and an assortment of various guests. It was my first time. I had blankets and books and my computer. The nurse was lovely. After a few minutes of her arranging her gear and setting up the inevitable bags of drugs..she looks up and goes.. "wait..this is your first time. You only get one first time. You should be in your own room". I profoundly agreed. Mom agreed and Lynne who arrived to make me smile also agreed. Ali was off getting us some sandwiches, but she most definitely would have agreed.
Nurse Joy..who is lovely. Sauntered off to find me the private room.
She was back and off we all went, wheeler luggage, bags, books, computers, beverages and all.... into a private quiet non lit lovely room. with a big window.
I was happier,calmer and feeling ok.
R-CHOP is ready to begin. First..a lovely drip of Benedryl that sets me into a twilight slumber of in/out conscientiousness. I don't mind this at all.
The stops and starts..are over the first drug is the "O" why it's O when it starts with a V I have no clue. It's a bag of Vincristine it's a heavy concoction made partially from the Rosy Periwinkle plant. Even though this is what causes...neuropothy, hair loss and a series of other serious side effects. I feel comfortable that it's derived from a plant and it's been used medicinally for centuries.
The 2nd is "H" Doxorubicin why H.. no clue. This is what potentially could reek havoc on my blood cells. It's delivered as a "PUSH" 3 tubes of pink skin irritating yukky. If it gets on the skin it can burn it...and it's being pushed into my veins. Yahoo... This is what can also cause mouth sores so I am supposed to rinse my mouth out with a salt, baking soda and water solution.
The emotional fun of this drug is the possibility of early menopause..yeah! like I'm not enough of an emotional biatch. bring it.
Next is "R" Rituximab or Rituxin. This is the so called miracle drug that's been saving lymphoma patients for about 25 years or so now. It's intense...the immediate side effects are a bit worrisome and this is the one they all seem to watch out for the side effects of more seriously. By this time I'm pretty sleepy and not so aware of what's going on ..the benedryl has me out. I do wake up and feel as if millions of fire ants are breeding in my mouth. The nurse stops my drip of R and let's me rest for 45mins. I sleep. I wake up to her starting again at a much slower rate.. all is fine except my mouth and throat are dry. Not like any dry mouth I've experienced before. It was like someone cut the bottom out of a dixie cup and shoved it in my throat. Dry.
I was up getting out of my woozy state. Alison was uncomfortably a sleep in a chair. Mom was on her computer and Lynne had gone back to work. My mouth was dry and I was texting Jules..she mentioned the episode of Sex In The City when all the girls are eating ice pops. I wanted an ice pop stat. Mom was off to find the cafeteria, Ali went to the office..her and I were texting about how she'll never find her way back to the room. Mom found me a strawberry froze fruit. The woman scored. It was the most delicious perfect thing ever invented.
While I had the pop, Joy plugged me with the next bag of "C" Cyclophosphomide.
This one could cause a stuffy head and a bad nasal blockage. I don't get that. I get a sinus headache. Joy slows down the drip and I'm fine.
The bag is about an hour. Ali heads back to the hospital.
Finally our day is ending.. the hospital day is over. I have my bag of pills. Joy sends me on my way. It's 8pm.
I'm tired. Don't even put on shoes. Socks are fine.
We pack up. Ali and I find our way out of the hospital.
Mom sweetly fetches the car. Meets us out front.
The three of us head on home. Two hours to the North Fork, Charlotte and my bed. Thankfully there is no traffic on the LIE. I'm in bed.
Day 1 is done. We'll see what happens next.
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