and on the 9th day...

It's been an uncomfortable week. The prednisone, the constipation the complete lack of momentum.. daily/hourly unpredictable. I've gone to work everyday, had friends over, family visiting, met with clients.. all in all normal but with this unpredictable fatigue and discomfort rearing it's ugly head at different times throughout the days.

Then to end the week, right on schedule ... the 10 day post chemo.. severe fatigue.
For me it actually hits at 9 days .. Saturday. I spent yesterday in bed. Barely moving, barely watching tv, just lying there with cramps and misery feeling like death warmed over. I did not facebook, text or open the laptop. Any glimmer of sunshine poking through the curtain I sealed up. At least until about 5pm when Alison came over and opened them all up. The smell and stuffiness of the room had to be brutal. As I mentioned, I had cramps so the farting was heinous and painful. The stench ..like ...like.. i don't even know what...but I thought maybe it was going to strip the wall paper. Ali tried to rub my back, but had to step away and literally go sit by a window for fresh air.

If it hadn't been painful, it would have been funny. We did laugh. But soon the waves hit. First a wave of pain, then the wave of stench. Neither..all that funny.
Soon after she left, the curtains were re-sealed and I was a sleep in my hot toxic cloud. I woke up intermittently from 8pm to 5am this morning ..but pretty much slept the night through for the first time in a week.

There had been 3 very small moments of progress on the poop front this week. Small being the operative word...finches, instead of eagles landing. I got another prescription for some magical pipe cleaning liquid. Had been taking it since Friday night but not until this morning did i achieve the ultimate goal. It was 8:15am and it came on without fanfare. Finally I pooped!

I wanted to yell at that poop for raising hell on me for the past few days. Something a kin to Jules Winnfield (Pulp Fiction) .. "I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy.."
In the end all I did was look down upon it and say "Thank You". Then with all the vengeance and furious anger I could muster.. I flushed that bitch.

Immediately after, I called my family to alert them of the news. We were all thankful and happy the discomfort had ended. More than anything I was glad that I do not need spend the remainder of Labor Day weekend at Sloan. If the new poop meds didn't work within 24 hours that was the suggested procedure.

Now it's Sunday around 11a. It's freakin' Labor Day weekend. The sun is shining it's gorgeous out. I'm supposed to be on Fire Island with my family but I'm on the couch. All the curtains and windows are open ..crisp fresh air blowing in. I'm dressed and out of bed. I feel weak, almost flu-ish but I'm moving around doing laundry and organizing my front hall closet.. slowly. Then I sit and take deep breath's it's like I'm 80.

I'm super bummed I'm not enjoying the weekend out in the world.. but happy to be up, moving around and needing to be near the toilet.

Enjoy your beer and potato salad people. If you are driving by ..stop on over. I'm alive again.